JESSE GIVENS Private First Class, U.S. Army, drowned
in the Euphrates River on May 1, 2003, in the service of his
country, in his 34th year. He wrote a letter to his wife, Melissa;
five-year-old son, Dakota, nicknamed "Toad"; and his unborn child,
Carson, nicknamed "Bean". He asked Melissa not to open the envelope
unless he was killed. "Please, only read if it I don't come home,"
he wrote. "Please put it away and hopefully you will never have to
read it."
This song, (originally titled "Private First Class Jesse Givens")
was premiered on September 17, 2006 at the University of Wisconsin,
Madison by Andrew Garland with the composer at the piano.
Last Letter Home Pfc.
Jesse Givens
I searched all my life for a dream and I found it
with you. I would like to think I made a positive difference in your
lives. I will never be able to make up for the bad. I am so sorry.
The happiest moments of my life of my life all deal with my little
family. I will always have with me the small moments we all shared.
The moments when you quit taking life so serious and smiled. The
sound of a beautiful boy's laughter, or the simple nudge of a baby
unborn. You will never know how complete you have made me. You
opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed.
Dakota, you are more son than I could ever ask for. You have a big,
beautiful heart. I will always be there in our park when you dream
so we can still play. I hope one day you will have a son like mine.
I love you Toad. I will always be there with you. I'll be in the
sun, shadows, dreams, and joys of your life.
Bean, I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are
beautiful.
I have never been so blessed as the day I met Melissa Dawn Benfield.
You are my angel, soul mate, wife, lover and best friend. I am so
sorry. I did not want to have to write this letter. There is so much
more I need to say, so much more I need to share. A lifetime's
worth. I married you for a million lifetimes. That's how long I will
be with you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving
you alone.
Do me one favor, after you tuck the children in, give them hugs and
kisses from me. Go outside and look at the stars and count them.
Don't forget to smile.